The Leaders I Trusted Most Had This One Thing in Common
Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes a “good” leader.
I used to chalk it up to being a servant leader—someone who supports their team, removes roadblocks, and leads with empathy.
And while I still firmly believe in this, I’ve realized that there’s a little more to it. Servant leadership isn’t just a management style; it’s an experience.
Like many of us, I’ve worked with a variety of leaders. There were some who inspired me, some who pushed me and challenged me, and some who quietly taught me what not to do.
But retrospectively, the ones that I trusted whole-heartedly, and honestly wanted to model my own behavior after the most, were not just servant leaders - they made me feel safe.
What it Means to be Safe to Follow
In my experience, we don’t always talk about leadership in terms of safety. Perhaps it feels too personal, but in reality, work is personal. Most of us are often scanning our environment at work, whether we realize it or not.
Can I say what I’m actually thinking?
What happens if I make a mistake?
Will I be supported or will this backfire?
These questions are always there, especially in fast-paced, high-pressure environments where everyone knows expectations are high and clarity is not always…well, clear.
Those leaders I trusted whole-heartedly? They didn’t punish mistakes. They didn’t panic at bad news (okay, maybe a little, but they handled it with care).
Most importantly, they figured out a way to make me feel supported, even if that involved constructive feedback. Because of that, I found myself becoming more confident and easing into a leader myself.
What Safe Leaders Actually Do
Being a leader who makes their team feel safe isn’t about being perfect - in fact, it’s far from it.
In allowing you to feel supported, they may admit their own faults, speak to their own lessons learned and experiences, and ultimately relate to you. In doing this, they create a safe environment organically.
To me, these leaders:
Stay grounded when things go sideways. No panic spirals, no blame games; just steady, calm direction.
Own their mistakes genuinely. There’s not a performative essence to it - it’s real, reflective, and human.
Listen without punishment even if the news isn’t great. They can take on bad news, tough feedback, or an opposing opinion and don’t make you feel small for escalating it.
Give feedback with care. Even when it’s direct, it’s never demeaning. It’s rooted in growth - not ego.
Model boundaries for you to follow. They take time off, say no, and don’t glorify burnout.
Show up consistently even when things are uncomfortable. They’re there and ready to support however needed.
Why This Matters
In fast-paced and/or hyper-growth environments, it’s easy to prioritize speed and execution over everything else.
While these definitely matter, they don’t replace trust. Without trust, teams go silent. They stop raising risks, motivation fades, and small problems snowball.
With a safe leader, however?
People feel more comfortable speaking up sooner. They take smart risks. They recover from mistakes. And, they bring their full perspective to the table.
Psychology safety is truly the foundation of honest collaboration, healthy culture, and quality progress.
Real Talk: It’s Not About Being Perfect
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Am I someone who makes my team actually feel safe or comfortable?”—Same!
I’ve gotten this wrong plenty of times. My weakest area? Modeling boundaries - and I know it. I’m someone who always encourages my teams to protect their work/life balance, but if I feel the need to work a 12+ hour day, I’ll do it.
But here’s what I’ve learned—and keep learning:
Emotional intelligence and self-awareness are leadership skills. They take practice. But the more we lean into them, the more they become second nature—and the more trustworthy we become.
You don’t have to be the most experienced, or charismatic, or even the most confident person in the room.
You just have to be someone people feel safe being real with.
Final Thought
I don’t think leadership is about having all of the answers. I think It’s about making it safe for people—whether they’re your teammates, your peers, or your direct reports—to bring things forward and figure it out together.
Some of the best leaders I’ve ever worked for and with weren’t the most polished or outspoken; they were steady, honest, present.
They made it okay to be human.
That’s the kind of leader I try and want to be, and the type of leader I want to follow.
