Most people think the hard part is knowing what to say.
It's not. By the time your mouth opens, the real work should already be done.
The Say the Hard Things framework starts where the conversation actually starts: in your head, when you're imagining all the ways it could go wrong and talking yourself into avoiding it altogether. We call those our shame tapes; until we recognize them for what they are, they'll continue to run the show.Â
Say the Hard Things moves you through two phases:
Before the conversationÂ
Understanding why your brain treats a hard conversation like a lion is chasing you, how to get out of rationalization tunnel vision, and how to get clear on whether you're going to have this conversation and why. Then, once you've decided you are, you'll learn how to build a safe container for the conversation, so that you don't blow it in the first 30 seconds.
During the conversation
A concrete sequence for what to say and how to say it, from how to open with the right tone for the situation to how to name what happened without triggering defensiveness, to how to hold steady when it gets uncomfortable.
And if it doesn't go perfectly?
That's okay! Real conversations are messy. Sometimes you need to come back. The framework accounts for that too, including scripts for the most common "it went sideways" scenarios, so you're not starting from scratch the second time around.Â
Our Offerings
Whether you only want to dip your toe in to see what it's all about, you're ready to invest in a longer term practice of saying hard things, or you want Human First to bring the Say the Hard Things framework into your organization to unblock and energize your teams to talk about the things that matter, we've got something for you.
The Front Porch
Our free newsletter, delivering weekly insights into more confident communication.
Coaching
Learn the framework over three, one-hour sessions that are tailored to your individual circumstances and challenges.
Workshops
Bring Say the Hard Things into your organization as a 90-minute lunch and learn or half-day deep dive.
Not just another communication workshop.
Say the Hard Things isn't just memorizing key phrases and scripts to get you through a hard conversation.
Here's what sets us apart.
- Starts with the internal work.Â
Your values, clarity, energy, and empathy are cultivated and understood before a single word is spoken. - Rooted in who you want to be.
Stay true to yourself, focused on your goals, and grounded in your values no matter how the conversation unfolds. - Builds skills, not scripts.
Practicing the Say the Hard Things framework makes values-driven responses more automatic over time. - Post-workshop practice and support.
Every workshop attendee and coaching client gets 90 days of free access to The Living Room to keep the momentum going.
Don't just memorize a script to get through your next hard conversation.
Become the kind of person who can navigate all of life's hard interactions with clarity, confidence, and compassion.
Learn more
Josh D.
“I had three Zoom sessions with Jess Kyle, and they were incredibly impactful. We worked through a past situation that had been very triggering for me, and she helped me see how I could have approached it differently using her practical communication tools. Even something as simple as pausing to control my breathing has made a meaningful difference. Jess creates a grounded, thoughtful space and teaches skills you can apply in real time. I now feel far more equipped to handle difficult conversations moving forward and am truly grateful for what I learned from her.”
Moses H.
"I am thankful for the reminders and helpful tips Jess shared for when shame begins to arrive... I like to think of a story I read as a child, the Cay, about a young boy who is lost at sea and ends up on a deserted island with one other man who ends up saving his life. Finding the actual confidence to tie myself to the coconut tree and stay put while the hurricane passes is something I only imagined before — Jess gave me real tools to feel like I can actually navigate that complexity.
When it comes to having difficult conversations, I’ve either always faltered or I’ve simply barreled on through. I was too focused on my emotions or the other person's; which is why I greatly appreciate the complete reframe Jess provided me with in terms of 'holding the container'.Â
A lot of what Jess teaches is what some might think of as 'common sense', but it’s very difficult to manage in practice. Navigating my daily conversations in the ways Jess taught, holding space for unbiased “facts of the matter” without getting hostile or confrontational… somehow just grounds me in a way I fully wasn’t expecting."
