Most people think the hard part is knowing what to say.

It's not. By the time your mouth opens, the real work should already be done.

The Say the Hard Things framework starts where the conversation actually starts: in your head, when you're imagining all the ways it could go wrong and talking yourself into avoiding it altogether. We call those our shame tapes; until we recognize them for what they are, they'll continue to run the show. 

Say the Hard Things moves you through two phases:

Before the conversation - understanding why your brain treats a hard conversation like a lion is chasing you, how to get out of rationalization tunnel vision, and how to get clear on whether you're going to have this conversation and why. Then, once you've decided you are, you'll learn how to build a safe container for the conversation, so that you don't blow it in the first 30 seconds.

During the conversation - a concrete sequence for what to say and how to say it, from how to open with the right tone for the situation to how to name what happened without triggering defensiveness, to how to hold steady when it gets uncomfortable.

And if it doesn't go perfectly?

That's okay! Real conversations are messy. Sometimes you need to come back. The framework accounts for that too, including scripts for the most common "it went sideways" scenarios, so you're not starting from scratch the second time around.